Hi my name
is Sean.
I have a sore in my mouth that hurts really badly that my doctors are not
worried about. I worry about it every day, every time I eat. It’s been hurting
for over a year. Tests are inconclusive, but the doctors can fix it by cutting
the nerve.
My back hurts. It’s been hurting for over ten years. Somedays it hurts so bad I
want the nerve cut out of my shoulder. Sometimes it makes me cry. It’s really
hard when it’s cold. I often spend most of my time indoors watching TV.
My hands hurt, they often have breaks in the skin that look like open
wounds, somedays it looks and feels like I have a dozen of cuts on my palms. I
also have this problem on my toes. It’s a skin condition with no cure. It is
slowly getting worse and spreading to different parts of my body.
I often feel hopeless. It’s winter time and the weather is cold and wet and
that makes my body hurt more. I feel hopeless. I can’t image living this way.
I like to ride my bicycle. I have a special recumbent
bike that allows me to ride with relatively little pain. I have just started training to ride my bike
2,000 miles down the west coast this summer.
Every winter I feel so hopeless and my body hurts badly. Somehow I find hope to
carry on and somehow I overcome all this pain and all of my fears and I truly
live and feel alive. I go from not being able to look anyone in the eye to talking
with random strangers asking me about my bike ride. I truly feel happy and
secure. I find peace and can love myself and my body.
Life is hard and yet I carry on. I’m sharing this because I feel that it is
important for people following my cause to understand that I’m not superhuman and that while I have major problems I fight hard to overcome them. If you are
struggling there is hope out there if you can find it. Riding my bicycle give
me hope and allows me to carry on.
I hope this gives you hope as well.
